c1881 Our Deportment Victorian Etiquette Manners Toilet Fashion Courting Health Sex Book + Language Poetry of Flowers Near Fine Condition
Please excuse any spelling errors, as we used an optical reader to scan the content for you--OUR DEPORTMENT - or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society, Including Forms for Letters, Invitations, Valuable Suggestions on Home Culture and Training.
By John H. Young, Published by F. B. Dickerson & Co, Detroit, MI, 1882--Hardcover, 5.5 x 7.5 inches, RARE blue cover, with pinkish-hued pages. 424 pages in this ultimate guide to being a proper Victorian.
Everything one would want or need to know in order to do well in 1800's high society--Chapters include: Manners, Salutations, Etiquette On Calls, Etiquette On Visiting, Etiquette Of Cards, Conversation, Dinner Parties, Table Etiquette, Receptions Parties and Balls, Street Etiquette, Etiquette of Public Places, Traveling Etiquette, Riding and Driving, Courtship, Wedding Etiquette, Home Life Etiquette, Home Training, Home Culture, Woman's Higher Education, The Letter Writer, General Rules to Govern Conduct, Anniversary Weddings, Births and Christenings, Funerals, Etiquette at Washington, Etiquette of Foreign Courts, Business, Dress, Colors and Their Harmony in Dress, The Toilet, Toilet Recipes, Sports Games and Amusements, Language of Flowers, Precious Stones--more detailed info below!
MANNERS: Good manners as an element of worldly success—Manner an index of character—The true gentleman—The true lady—Importance of trifles—Value of pleasing manners—Personal appearance enhanced and fortunes made by pleasing manners—Politeness the outgrowth of good manners.
INTRODUCTIONS: Acquaintances thus formed—Promiscuous, informal and casual Introductions—Introduction of a gentleman to a lady and a lady to a gentleman—Introduction at a ball—The manner of introduction —Introducing relatives—Obligatory introductions—Salutations after introduction—Introducing one's self—Letters of introduction—How they are to be delivered—Duty of a person to whom a letter of introduction is addressed—Letters of introduction for business purposes-Chapter IV: Salutations, The salutation originally an act of worship—Its form in different nations—The bow, its proper mode—Words of salutation—Manner of bowing—Duties of the young to older people—How to avoid recognition—Etiquette of handshaking—Kissing as a mode of salutation—The kiss of friendship—The kiss of respect-Chapter V: Morning calls—Evening calls—Rules for formal calls—Galls at Summer resorts—Reception days—Calls made by cards—Returning the first call—Calls after a betrothal takes place—Forming new acquaintance by calls—The first call, by whom to be made—Calls of Congratulation—Visits of condolence—Keeping an account of calls —Evening visits—"Engaged" or "not at home" to callers—General rules relative to calls—New Year's calls-Chapter VI: General invitations not to be accepted—The limit of a prolonged visit —Duties of a visitor—Duties of the host or hostess—True hospitality—Leave-taking—Invitations to guests—Forbearance with children, Guests making presents—Treatment of a host's friends-Chapter VII: Visiting and calling cards—Their size and style—Wedding cards— Leaving cards in calling—Cards for mother and daughter—Cards not to be sent in envelopes to return formal calls—Glazed cards not in fashion—Cards of congratulation—When sent —Leave cards in making first calls of the season and after invitations—Cards of condolence—Bridegroom's card - Chapter VIII: Character revealed by conversation—Importance of conversing well— Children should be trained to talk well—Cultivation of the memory—Importance of remembering names—How Henry Clay acquired this habit—Listening—Writing down one's thoughts— Requisites for a good talker—Vulgarisms—Flippancy—Sympathizing with another—Bestowing compliments—Slang—Flattery—Scandal and gossip—Satire and ridicule—Religion and politics to be avoided —Bestowing of titles—Interrupting another while talking—Adaptability in conversation—Correct use of words—Speaking one's mind- Profanity—Display of knowledge——Impertinent questions—Things to be avoided in conversation—Hobbies—Fault- finding—Disputes- Chapter IX: OWNER PARTIES Sinners are entertainments for married people—Whom to invite— Forms of invitations—Punctuality required—The success of a dinner party—Table appointments—Proper size of a dinner party —Arrangement of guests at table—Serving dinner a la Russe— Duties of servants—Serving the dishes—General rules regarding dinner—Waiting on others—Monopolizing conversation—Duties of hostess and host—Retiring from the table—Calls required after a dinner party—Returning hospitalities—Expensive dinners not the most enjoyable—Wines at dinners -Chapter X: TABLE ETIQUETTE. Importance of acquiring good habits at the table—Table appointments for breakfast, luncheon and dinner—Use of the knife and fork— Of the napkin—Avoid fast eating and all appearance of greediness —General rules on the subject-Chapter XI: RECEPTIONS, PARTIES AND BALLS. Morning receptions—The dress and refreshments for them—Invitations —Musical matinees—Parties in tho country—Five o'clock teas and kettle-drums—Requisites for a successful ball—Introductions at a ball—Receiving guests—The number to invite—Duties of the guests —General rules to be observed at balls—Some suggestions for gentlemen— Duties of an escort—Preparations for a ball—The supper—An after-call required-Chapter XII: STREET ETIQUETTE. The street manners of a lady—Forming street acquaintances—Recognizing friends in the street—Saluting a lady—Passing through a crowd—The first to bow—Do you lack politeness—How a lady and gentleman should walk together—When to offer the lady the arm- Going up and down stairs—Smoking in the streets—Carrying packages—Meeting a lady acquaintance—Comer loafers—Shouting in the street—Shopping etiquette—For public conveyances—Cutting acquaintances—General suggestions -Chapter XIII: Conduct in church—Invitations to opera, theatres and concerts—Conduct in public assemblies—Remain until the performance closes— Conduct in picture galleries—Behaviour at charity fairs—Conduct at an artist's studio-Chapter XIV: Courtesies shown to ladies traveling alone—Duties of an escort—Duties of a lady to her escort—Ladies should assist other ladies traveling alone—The seats to be occupied in a railway car—Discretion to be used in forming acquaintances in traveling-Chapter XV: Learning to ride on horseback—The gentleman's duty as an escort in riding—How to assist a lady to mount—Hiding with ladies—Assisting a lady to alight from a horse—Driving—The seat of honor in a carriage—Trusting the driver-Chapter XVI: Proper conduct of gentlemen and ladles towards each other—Premature declaration of love—Love at first sight—Proper manner of courtship—Parents should exercise authority over daughters—An acceptable suitor—Requirements for a happy marriage;—Proposals of marriage—A gentleman should not press an unwelcome suit—A lady's refusal—A doubtful answer—Unladylike conduct toward a suitor—The rejected suitor—Asking consent of parents—Presents after engagement—Conduct and relations of the engaged couple- Lovers' quarrels—Breaking an engagement-Chapter XVII: Wedding Etiquette, Choice of bridesmaids and groomsmen or ushers—The bridal costume, Costumes of bridegroom and ushers— Presents of the bride and bridegroom—Ceremonials at church when there are no bridesmaids or ushers— Invitations to the ceremony alone—The latest ceremonials—Weddings at home—The evening wedding—" At home" receptions—Calls—The wedding ring—Marriage ceremonials of a widow—Form of invitations to a reception—Duties of Invited guests—Of bridesmaids and ushers—Bridal presents—Master of ceremonies—Wedding dress—Congratulations—The bridal tour-Chapter XVIII: HOME LIFE AND ETIQUETTE. Home the woman's kingdom—Home companionship—Conduct of husband and wife—Duties of the wife to her husband—The wife a helpmate —The husband's duties-Chapter XIX: HOME TRAINING. First lessons learned at home—Parents should set good examples to their children—Courtesies in the home circle—Early moral training of children—The formation of their habits—Politeness at home- Train children for some occupation—Bad temper—Selfishness- Home maxims-Chapter XX: Cultivate moral courage—The pernicious influence of indolence—Self-respect—Results of good breeding at home—Fault-finding and grumbling—Family wars not to be made public—Religious education—Obedience—Influence of example—The influence of books-Chapter XXI: The importance—Train young women to some occupation—Education of girls too superficial—An education appropriate to each sex- Knowledge of the laws of health needed by women—Idleness the source of all misery—A spirit of independence—Health and life dependent upon a higher culture—Cultivation of the moral sense-Chapter XXII: Letter writing is an indication of good breeding—Requirements for correct writing—Anonymous letters—Note paper to be used—forms of letters and notes—Forms of addressing notes and letters—Forms of signature—Letters oi introduction—When to be given—Notes of invitation and replies thereto—Acceptances and regrets—Formal invitations must be answered—Letters of friendship—Love letters —Business letters and correspondence—Form of letter requesting employment—Regarding the character of a servant—Forms for notes, drafts, bills and receipts-Chapter XXIII: General Rules to Govern Conduct, Attention to the young in society—Gracefulness of carriage—Attitude, coughing, sneezing, etc—Anecdotes, puns, etc.-—A sweet and pure breath—Smoking—A good listener—Give precedence to others—Be moderate in speaking—Singing and playing in society—Receiving and making presents—Governing our moods—A lady driving with a gentleman—An invitation cannot be recalled—Avoid talking of personalities—Shun gossip and tale bearing—Removing the hat— Intruding on privacy—Politeness—Adapting yourself to others— Contradicting—A woman's good name—Expressing unfavorable opinions—Vulgarities — Miscellaneous rules governing conduct— Washington's maxims-Chapter XXIV: Anniversary Wedding, How and when they are celebrated—The paper, cotton and leather weddings—The wooden wedding—The tin wedding—The crystal wedding—The silver wedding—The golden wedding—The diamond wedding—Presents at anniversary weddings—Forms of invitations-Chapter XXV: Naming the child—The christening—Godparents or sponsors—Presents from godparents—The ceremony—The breakfast—Christening gifts The hero of the day—Fees-Chapter XXVI: Funeral-Death notices and funeral invitations—Arrangements for the —The house of mourning—Conducting the funeral services—The pall-Bearers—Order of the procession—Floral and other decorations —Calls upon the bereaved family—Seclusion of the family-Chapter XXVII: Social duties required of the President and his family—Receptions at the White House—Order of official rank—Duties required of members of the cabinet and their families—How to address officials-Chapter XXVIII: Foreign titles—Royalty—The nobility—The gentry—Esquires—Imperial rank—European titles—Presentation at the court of Saint James— Those eligible and ineligible for presentation—Preliminaries— Presentation costumes-Chapter XXIX: The example of a merchant prince—Keep your temper—Honesty the best policy—Form good habits—Breaking an appointment—Prompt payment of bills, notes and drafts—General suggestions-Chapter XXX: Dress-Requirements for dressing well—Perils of the love of dress to weak minds—Consistency in dress—Extravagance—Indifference to dress —Appropriate dress—The wearing of gloves—Evening or full dress for gentlemen—Morning dress for gentlemen—Evening or full dress for ladies—Ball dress—The full dinner dress—For receiving and making morning calls—Morning dress for street—Carriage dress—Promenade dress and walking suit—Opera dress—The riding dress—For women of business—Ordinary evening dress—For a social party—Dress for the theater, lecture and concert—Archery, croquet and skating costumes—Bathing dress—For traveling—The bridal costume—Dress of bridesmaids—At wedding receptions— Mourning dress—How long mourning should be worn-Chapter XXXI: The proper arrangement of colors—The colors adapted to different persons—Material for dress—Size In relation to color and dress—A list of colors that harmonize-Chapter XXXII: THE TOILET. Importance of neatness and cleanliness—Perfumes—The bath—The teeth and their care—The akin—The eyes, eyelashes and brows—The hair and beard—The hands and feet-Chapter XXXIII: TOILET RECIPES-To remove freckles, pimples and sunburn—To beautify the complexion —To prevent the hair falling out—Pomades and hair oils—Sea foam or dry shampoo—To prevent hair turning gray—To soften the skin—To cleanse the teeth—Remedy for chapped hands—For corns and chilblains, etc-Chapter XXXIV: Archery and its practice—Lawn Tennis— Routing—Picnics—Private Theatricals—Card playing.
CONDITION: Near Fine, minimal edge wear to the spine ends and corners as customary for a book 132 years old. Inside is very clean, ends of all pages red tipped, both front and back hinge papers are intact, text block is tight. The front flyleaf paper is a chocolate brown, with a small gift inscription in pencil on following page. The opening page has a wonderful depiction of family life, with several cartouches, and cupids! The opposite title page has just a hint of foxing from the tissue guard, which is still in place. This book is a fine coffee table conversation piece, and a great educational book on Victorian social norms! Perfect for birthdays, Mother's Day, or any occasion. We do welcome all book layaways, so have a peek in our shop for more wonderful Victorian etiquette books, where you can often combine items to save postage!
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