c1891 Victorian Etiquette Book Manners Culture and Dress Toilet Sex Deportment Fashion Language Poetry of Flowers SCARCE RED COVER near FINE Condition

Ladies were to be chaperoned. Gentlemen were greatly concerned with every aspect of `proper' etiquette in daily life. For those in the upper ranks of Victorian society, rules such as the proper form of address and even what to wear (including appropriate or inappropriate jewelry) were considered paramount.

Social protocol blunders such as addressing a member or society by the wrong title or wearing a dress deemed inappropriate for an event or time of day were enough to not only get tongues wagging, but to also lose one's social status in polite society. The slightest burp, if heard, could mean social ruin.

Thank goodness for books such as Manners, Culture and Dress! Outlined here are the rules that governed the most refined society of America. Every aspect of proper etiquette and dress is covered including: entrance into society, introductions and salutations, social exchanges, proper conversations, visiting, dances, balls, dinner parties, street etiquette, riding and driving, traveling, etiquette in public places, letter writing, business etiquette, proper courtship, marriage, domestic etiquette, the proper home, wifely duties, table etiquette, gift giving and receiving, anniversaries, weddings, funerals, proper dress, self expression, health and beauty, amusements, home decor, what books to read, etiquette with children, culture of plants and much more!

By careful study, anyone could acquire the perfect ease of a gentleman, or the gentle manners of a well-bred lady, guaranteeing that their presence in society will not be shunned and in fact, will be sought after.

This is a handsome book, with a vivid red pebbled cloth cover, with the title in gilt text and black embellishments that mimic book braces. There are many fine engraving illustrations inside. Quite thick too, at 502 pages. Overall size is 6 x 8 inches, and 2 inches high.

The book opens with the text "Manners constitute the language in which the biography of every individual is written. There is no one subject of today which embodies more practical interest to people in general, than a knowledge of the rules, usages, and ceremonies of good society (that is, deportment)".

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

CHAPTER 1 - INTRODUCTORY

CHAPTER 2 - ENTRANCE INTO SOCIETY

The good will of women ~ Social connections ~ Being natural ~ With whom to associate ~ What to tolerate ~ Common place speech ~ Modesty ~ Respectful deference ~ Ease of manner ~ Distinctions in conduct ~ Long usage ~ Selecting company ~ Good Sense ~ Qualities of a gentleman ~ Whom to imitate

CHAPTER 3 - INTRODUCTIONS

By relatives ~ Saluting and shaking hands ~ First introduction ~ Second or subsequent meeting ~ The obligations of ~ After an introduction ~ While traveling ~ Introductory letters to ladies ~ Receipt of introductory letters ~ Requesting a letter of ~ to society ~ Bestowing of titles ~ Proper forms of ~ Ceremonious phrases ~ Casual introductions ~ Speak the name distinctly ~ Introduction of a Lady to Gentleman ~ in other countries ~ Without permission ~ Meeting on the street ~ Morning visitors ~ Introducing yourself ~ Assisting a lady in difficulty

CHAPTER 4 - SALUTATIONS

Forms of Salutation ~ Of different nations ~ Words of salutation ~ Foreigners' salutations ~ On the street ~ Meeting in the street ~ Bow of civility ~ Saluting ladies ~ Etiquette of hand shaking ~ The kiss ~ The kiss of respect ~ The kiss of friends ~ Women kissing in public

CHAPTER 5 - SOCIAL INTERCOURSE

The value of knowledge--A good conscience ~ Good character ~ A well in- formed man ~ Liberal and scientific information ~ Employing leisure moments ~ Softening natural ferocity ~ The arts of peace ~ Difference In social Intercourse ~ Slight reflections ~ Improving by conversation ~ Learn some- thing from all ~ Be not too confident ~ Narrow and limited views ~ Consulting with others ~ Difference of opinion

CHAPTER 6 - CONVERSATIONS

Subjects to be avoided ~ Talk to people of their own affairs ~ Avoid talking too much of their professions ~ Avoid classical quotations ~ Modulation ~ Slang ~ Using proverbs and puns ~ Avoid long arguments ~ Interrupting a person while speaking ~ Whispering in society ~ Make the topic of conversation known ~ Witticisms ~ Avoid unfamiliar subjects ~ Introducing anecdotes ~ Correct pronunciation ~ Avoid repeating ~ Cultivating the mind ~ Music ~ A low voice ~ Talk well about trifles ~ Double entendres ~ Indelicate words and expressions ~ Profanity ~ Listening ~ The best kind of conversation ~ Interjections ~ Avoid wounding the feelings of another ~ Affectations ~ Use plain words ~ Avoid wit which wounds ~ Proper reserve- Professional peculiarities ~ Modesty ~ Conversing with ladies ~ Conclusion

CHAPTER 7 - VISITS

Visits of congratulation ~ of ceremony or calls ~ Time to make ceremonious visits ~ Keep an account of ceremonious visits ~ Visits of ceremony among friends ~ calling at an inconvenient hour ~ Visiting at hotels ~ Visiting the sick ~ Style of conversation ~ Visits of condolence ~ Before going abroad ~ Leave taking of a family ~ Meeting other visitors ~ Gentleman's morning call ~ Returning from the country ~ Cards for ceremonious visits ~ Calling on strangers ~ Engaged or not at home ~ Evening visits ~ Friendly Calls ~ Omitting visits ~ Ceremonious visits ~ Suitable times for visits ~ How to treat visitors ~ Taking a seat while visiting ~ Paying equal attention to all ~ Taking a friend with you ~ Privileges of ladies ~ Visiting acquaintances alone ~ Preference of seats ~ Respect towards the aged and feeble ~ Discontinuing work ~ Visiting cards ~ Address on cards ~ Keeping cards ~ Laying aside the bonnet ~ Habitual visits ~ Short visits ~ Unintentional intrusions ~ Free hospitality ~ Treatment of guests ~ Duties of the visitor ~ Leave taking

CHAPTER 8 - DINNER PARTIES AND BALLS

Invitations ~ Reply to ~ Arriving too late ~ Manners at table ~ Dress neatly for dinner party ~ How long to remain ~ Congenial company ~ Number of guests-Manner of writing invitations ~ Invitation accepted ~ Declined ~ Invitation to tea party ~ Reception of guests ~ Introduction of guests ~ Proceeding to dinner ~ Arranging guests ~ Intermingling guests ~ Asking the waiter for anything ~ Praising every dish ~ Picking your teeth at table ~ Selecting a particular dish ~ Duties of host and hostess ~ Paring fruit for a lady ~ Dipping bread into preserves ~ Soup ~ Fish ~ General rules regarding dinner ~ Watching how others do ~ Urging guests to eat ~ Waiting on others ~ Monopolizing conversation ~ Signal for leaving the table ~ Dancing ~ Giving a ball ~ Choice of guests ~ Issuing invitations ~ Prejudice*, against dancing ~ Notes of Interrogation ~ Variety of toilette ~ Choice of attire ~ Evening party ~ The cloak room ~ When to arrive ~ Refusing to dance ~ Giving a reason for not dancing ~ How to ask a lady to dance ~ Leaving a ball room ~ Talking too much ~ Wall flowers ~ Duties of gentlemen ~ Duty of ladies ~ While dancing ~ Grace and modesty ~ Private party ~ Public balls ~ Visit of thanks ~ Deportment In public places ~ General rules for a ball room ~ Conclusion

CHAPTER 9 - STREET ETIQUETTE

Recognizing friends on the street ~ Omitting to recognize acquaintances ~ Shaking hands with a lady ~ Young ladies conduct on the street ~ Accompanying visitors ~ Fulfilling an engagement ~ Conduct while shopping ~ Taking off your glove ~ Asking information ~ Crossing a muddy street- Expensive dress in the street ~ Carriage of a lady in public ~ Forming acquaintances In public ~ Demanding attention ~ Meeting a lady acquaintance ~ Stopping a lady on the street ~ Passing acquaintances ~ Crowding before another ~ Giving the arm ~ When to offer the arm ~ Returning a salute ~ Passing before a lady ~ Corner loafers ~ Shouting ~ Gentlemen walking with a lady ~ Crossing the street ~ General rules ~ Passing through a crowd ~ Saluting a lady ~ Ascending a mountain ~ Meeting on the street ~ Intrusive Inquiries on meeting ~ Smoking while walking ~ Taking off your hat

CHAPTER 10 - RIDING AND DRIVING

Etiquette of riding ~ Riding in public ~ Riding with ladies ~ Assisting a lady to mount ~ Pace in riding ~ Meeting friends on horseback ~ Meeting a lady ~ Assisting a lady to alight from a horse ~ Entering a carriage ~ Assisting a lady into a carriage

CHAPTER 11 - TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

A lady traveling alone ~ On arrival of the train ~ Arriving at destination ~ Rushing for a ticket office ~ Personal comfort ~ Rushing for the table ~ Social intercourse while traveling ~ Occupying too many seats ~ Retaining a seat ~ Etiquette of street cars ~ Etiquette of ferry boats ~ Checking familiarity ~ Duties of ladies to other ladies while traveling ~ Consulting the comforts of others ~ Attention to the wants of others ~ Selfishness of ladies

CHAPTER 12 - ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES

Church Etiquette ~ Visiting an artist ~ Conduct In picture galleries ~ Invitation to opera or concert ~ Conduct in opera, theatre or public hall ~ Church or fancy fairs ~ Picnics ~ How to dress ~ Duties of gentlemen ~ Committee of arrangements ~ Boating ~ Rowing ~ Ladies Rowing

CHAPTER 13 - LETTERS AND LETTER WRITING

Secret of good composition ~ Penmanship ~ Choice of paper ~ General appearance of a letter ~ Letters of introduction ~ Letters of friendship ~ Form of Friendly letter ~ Modes of address ~ The family letter ~ Parents to children ~ Letters of love ~ Letters of business ~ Letters of invitation ~ Invitation to a party ~ General advice to letter writers

CHAPTER 14 - LAWS OF BUSINESS AND LEGAL FORMS

General laws of business ~ Forms of notes ~ Negotiable and non-negotiable ~ Draft, check

CHAPTER 15 – SELF CULTURE

Economize time ~ Importance of early rising ~ Reading ~ Study ~ Depend up- on work, not genius ~ Good books easily accessible ~ Careless reading impairs the mind ~ Have some worthy aim ~ The result of idleness ~ " Dili-gentia Omnia Vincit " ~ Requisites of success

CHAPTER 16 - ADVANTAGES OF WEDLOCK

Comparison ~ Bachelors ~ Advice of Jeremy Taylor ~ Celibacy an unnatural state ~ Woman's risk greater than man's ~ Have a home ~ Objections on account of expense ~ Essentials to happiness

CHAPTER 17 - COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

Charms for procuring love ~ A woman's judgment ~ Love and marriage ~ Usages of society ~ Love a universal passion ~ A lady's position ~ A gentle- man's position ~ Conduct of a gentleman toward ladies ~ Premature declaration ~ Love at first sight ~ Trifling with a man's feelings ~ A poor triumph ~ A still greater crime ~ The rejected lover ~ Duty of a rejected lover ~ Un-manly conduct ~ Encouraging the address of a gentleman ~ Proposal of marriage ~ Forms of proposals ~ Proposal accepted ~ Protracted engagements ~ Asking papa ~ An engagement ring ~ The relations of an engaged couple ~ Demonstrations of affection ~ Keeping late hours ~ A domineering lover ~ Breaking an engagement ~ By letter ~ Acknowledging such letter ~ The marriage ceremony ~ General rules ~ Congratulation ~ Ceremony in church ~ Leaving the church ~ Marriage fees ~ Let joy be unconfined ~ The wedding breakfast ~ Sending cards ~ Wedding cards ~ Calling on a newly married couple ~ A Joyous period ~ Professional call while receiving calls ~ Returning wedding visits

CHAPTER 18 - THE HOME

Home influence ~ An ideal home ~ Industry and sympathy ~ Amusements ~ Home culture ~ Our girls ~ A sister's influence ~ Boys ~ How to spoil a boy ~ Mother and son

CHAPTER 19 - DOMESTIC ETIQUETTE AND DUTIES

Duties of the wife ~ Avoid all cause for complaint ~ Beware of confidants ~ Regarding money matters ~ How to keep a home ~ Avoid concealment- Avoid all bickering ~ Becoming conduct for a wife ~ Solomon's description ~ Duties of a husband ~ Things to remember ~ Accompany your wife to church ~ A breach of etiquette ~ Taking your wife into your confidence ~ Let her manage her own affairs ~ Avoid unnecessary interference ~ Be always ready to praise ~ Avoid comparisons ~ Conclusion

CHAPTER 20 - TABLE ETIQUETTE

The breakfast table ~ General rules for behavior at table ~ Luncheon ~ Dinner

CHAPTER 21 - MISCELLANEOUS RULES OF ETIQUETTE

Presents among friends ~ Presents to married ladies ~ Present by married lady ~ Praising presents ~ Making parade ~ How to receive a present ~ Re- fusing a gift ~ Value of present ~ Governing our moods ~ Civility due to all women ~ Keeping engagements ~ Requisites to gain esteem ~ Contempt and haughtiness ~ Talking of yourself ~ A filthy habit ~ Avoid loud conversation ~ Consulting your time-piece ~ Removing the hat ~ Smoking in presence of ladies ~ Relinquishing a seat for a lady ~ A man's pride and principles ~ Avoid religious topics ~ Attention to young people in society ~ Reverential regard for religion ~ Absent mindedness ~ Affectation ~ Confidence and secrecy ~ A woman's good name ~ Singing in company ~ Gentlemen at evening parties ~ Accepting an invitation ~ Expressing unfavorable opinions ~ Checking himself in conversation ~ Cautiousness and self-control ~ Avoid argument ~ Civility ~ Courtesy ~ Improper actions and attitudes ~ Good maxims ~ Politeness ~ Washington's maxims ~ Principles of good breeding ~ Attention to small matters

CHAPTER 22 - WASHINGTON ETIQUETTE

Presidential receptions ~ Private calls on the President ~ Social duties of cabinet officers and their families ~ Social duties of congressmen and their families

CHAPTER 23 - BUSINESS

CHAPTER 24 - ANNIVERSARY & WEDDINGS

The paper wedding ~ The wooden wedding ~ The tin wedding ~ The crystal wedding ~ The china wedding ~ The silver wedding ~ The golden wedding ~ The diamond wedding ~ Presents at anniversary weddings ~ Invitation to anniversary weddings

CHAPTER 25 - FUNERALS

Invitation to a funeral ~ Charge of affairs at a funeral ~ Expense of a funeral ~ General rules of etiquette ~ Houses of mourning ~ Conveyances for funeral ~ Exhibiting the corpse ~ Receiving guests at a funeral ~ Proceeding to the cemetery ~ Flowers at a funeral ~ Other decorations upon the coffin ~ After the funeral ~ Notification of death ~ Obligations to attend a funeral ~ Seclusion of the bereaved family ~ Period of mourning

CHAPTER 26 - DRESS

First impressions ~ Consistency in dress ~ Plain dressing ~ Too rich dressing- Elegant dressing ~ Appropriate and becoming dress ~ Neglect of dress ~ Habitual attention to attire ~ An amiable exterior ~ Dress the appropriate finish of beauty ~ Taste ~ Simplicity In dress ~ Delicacy and harmony ~ Using paints ~ Color and complexion ~ Dress to suit the occasion ~ Evening dress ~ Bright-colored gloves ~ Never dress above your station ~ Thinking about your dress ~ Morning dress for home ~ Morning dress for visitor ~ Morning dress for street ~ Business woman's dress ~ The promenade ~ Material of a walking suit ~ Carriage dress ~ Riding dress ~ Dress for receiving calls ~ Dress of hostess ~ Dinner dress ~ Dress of guests at dinner party ~ Ordinary evening dress ~ Dress for evening call ~ Dress for social party ~ The soiree and ball ~ Dress for church ~ Dress for theatre ~ Dress for lecture and concert ~ Dress for opera ~ Croquet and skating costume ~ Costume for country and sea-side ~ Bathing costume ~ Costume for traveling ~ Going to Europe ~ Wedding outfit ~ The wedding dress ~ Dress for bridegroom ~ Dress for bridesmaid ~ Traveling dress of bride ~ Marriage of a Widow ~ The trousseau

CHAPTER 27 - HARMONY OF COLOR IN DRESS

Size in relation to dress and color

CHAPTER 28 - THE TOILETTE

Health and beauty ~ The dressing room ~ Lady's dressing-room ~ Gentleman's dressing-room ~ The bath ~ Air bath ~ The teeth ~ The skin ~ The eye-lashes and brows ~ The hair ~ The beard ~ The hand

CHAPTER 29 - BEAUTY AND ITS EXPRESSION

Singing and playing ~ The voice and dress ~ Dignity and familiarity,

CHAPTER 30 - SERVANTS

Treatment of servants ~ Fees ~ What to permit

CHAPTER 31 - HOME DECORATIONS

Flowers ~ Arranging of plants ~ Ward case ~ Mayflower ~ Preparation of soil

CHAPTER 32 - AMUSEMENTS

Readings ~ Private dramas ~ Charades ~ Tableaux of Statuary ~ Light and shades

CHAPTER 33 - ETIQUETTE WITH CHILDREN

Children at funerals ~ At parties ~ Early training ~ Accepting invitations ~ The custom ~ Good manners

CHAPTER 34 - ETIQUETTE FOR BAPTISM

Customary ceremonies ~ Christening ~ Presents

CHAPTER 35 - ETIQUETTE OF THE STUDIO

CHAPTER 36 - PRECIOUS STONES

Finger-rings with sentiments ~ Stories in precious stones ~ Zodiac stones ~ Stones and their influences ~ Ring's ~ King of Memphis ~ Caesar's ring ~ Nero's signet ~ In Persia ~ President Pierce's ring ~ Name rings ~ French names

CHAPTER 37 - FLOWERS AND THEIR SENTIMENTS

CHAPTER 38 - WINDOW GARDENING

Best place ~ Ferneries ~ Soil ~ Trailing Arbutus ~ Hanging gardens ~ Portable screens

CHAPTER 39 - CARE AND CULTURE OF PLANTS

Where, when and how to cultivate flowers ~ Stands ~ Shelves ~

CHAPTER 40 - FURNISHING THE HOME

The Hall ~ Parlor ~ Sitting room ~ Library ~ Chambers ~ Dining room ~ Kitchen

CHAPTER 41 - BOOKS

Outlook through books ~ How to cultivate the taste ~ Companionship of books ~ What to read

CHAPTER 42 - TOILET RECIPES

To remove freckles ~ Wrinkles ~ Discoloration of skin ~ Sunburn ~ Cure chilblains ~ Hair curling fluid ~ To prevent hair from falling off ~ Rye tooth powder ~ Bandoline ~ Rosewater ~ Lip salve ~ Smooth skin ~ Sticking plaster ~ To improve the complexion ~ Burns ~ Pimpernel water ~ To soften the hands ~ For roughness of the skin ~ Chapped hands ~ To prevent hair turning gray ~ To soften and beautify the hair ~ To remove pimples ~ To remove tan ~ Cure for corns ~ Chapped lips ~ Black teeth ~ Pomade against baldness ~ Cologne ~ Ox marrow pomatum ~ Dentifrice ~ To clean kid gloves ~ Water proof boots and shoes ~ To remove a tight ring ~ Cleaning Jewelry ~ To clean kid boots ~ Cleaning silver ~ To remove grease spots ~ To clean patent-leather boots ~ Mildew from linen ~ To remove stains and spots from silk ~ Toothache preventive ~ Cure for felon ~ Cure for croup ~ Cure for Ingrown nails on toes ~ Protection against moths

For instance, under Toilet recipes, it details: how to remove freckles, hair curling fluid, how to improve the complexion, to prevent hair from turning gray, to remove pimples, to remove tan, corn cures, black teeth, cologne, dentifrice, how to clean kid gloves, cleaning jewelry, how to remove grease spots, linen, cure for ingrown toenails, moth protection---all you'd ever want to know!

It also has a wonderful section on Flowers and their Sentiments, or the Language and Poetry of Flowers. For instance, a cabbage rose signifies the giver is an Ambassador of Love. The red poppy signifies Consolation, and so on. Quite a comprehensive section on all the flower virtues and what they stood for. Imagine being given a flower bouquet, and then trying to figure out your suitor's sentiments!

Some of the other subheadings that are a hoot are: the importance of early rising, charms for procuring love, the rejected lover, breaking an engagement, duties of the wife, talking of yourself, a filthy habit, relinquishing a seat for a lady, a woman's good name, gentlemen at evening parties, social connections, whom to imitate, the kiss, women kissing in public, subjects to be avoided, profanity, avoid wit which wounds, arranging guests at a dinner party, when to offer the arm, etiquette of ferry boats, leaving a ballroom, first impressions of dress, the bath, what to pay servants, how to cultivate flowers, how to furnish the parlor, and more---this is one amazing book!

The pages are a linen-like stock. Presentation page has a flying bird with fans, a parrot, a Japanese lady with a parasol, a ship, stork, potted plant, stairs, and an urn of flowers, but is unmarked. Binding is tight, hinges amazingly still intact. Front and back end pages have a sweet green and white floral design. Inside is also very clean with an aged patina, no writing, and light foxing on several pages. Sunned spine. I'd say this book sat on a shelf and was never even read, as it is in Near Fine Condition. Overall, one of the best books on Victorian etiquette, and LOVE that red cover! We also have several other etiquette and language of flower books in our shop, and these make quite a fun collection, especially for coffee table conversations, as well as gift items for Mother's day, the gardener, and birthdays. More photos are available upon request. Yes, we do have book layaways!

Item ID: 1595